i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
