Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
