I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
