yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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