handjob tips. give me some.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
being pregnant is like rehab
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
