Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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