his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
