I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize