I love black thongs
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
