As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
