I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
