Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
