After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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