is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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