I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Someone signed my nipple.
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