Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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