it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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