member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
