i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
