in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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