Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
