I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
