guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
