Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
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The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
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His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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