I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
