her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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