I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
