Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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