My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm sobbing to NWA
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
