Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just found puke in my bra..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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