I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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