i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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