Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
