we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore