you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
