It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
