He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize