just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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