careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
