she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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