i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
