I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
