I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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