they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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