I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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