ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
