its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
