You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
