She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i drank out of a bidet.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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