Don't you send me to vm
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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