I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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