Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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