U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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