I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
