Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
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I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize