"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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