Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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