The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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