I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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