so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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