Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
