there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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