Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize