I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
you're hired as official boob wrangler
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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