I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you win again, gameday.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
