Bisexual people are plain selfish.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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