she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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